Sunday, January 23, 2011

Me and My (lack of) Writing

I haven't written in a long time. I've been feeling useless. My writing has gotten more and more sparse. I've finally been accepted to write on another blog, but my mind has gone blank. Writer's block, I suppose. Or maybe I think that there's no one interested in what I would say. Heck, I don't even know why I'm writing this.

My life has changed so much in the past 12 months. I have pain every day of my life. From the tests, so far, it looks like rheumatoid arthritis, but the rheumatoligist has yet to make a specific diagnosis. I take pain medication, but no DMARDs. I don't like to talk about it too much, but I guess people can tell something is going on. Besides the pain and stiffness, it makes my tire easily, have difficulty balancing when I walk and weakens my hands. I don't want people to treat me differently, I just want to find different ways to "make do".

I am still trying to find my place; what I can do (and want to do) within the time limits of my lower energy. I can't say if, or how, writing will fit into all this. I do miss the writing, but there are other things I also want to do.