On Success (a personal musing)

I have succeeded in at least one thing: being the kind of mother I would have been proud to call my own; not perfect, but loving and strong, learning alongside her children on this journey called parenthood.

I see three children I am proud to call my own. I see the adults they have become, not because of my own guidance, but because of the individuals they are. I hope that, in some small way, I have contributed to the people they have become. Nevertheless, I feel privileged to share my life with them.

Me and My (lack of) Writing

I haven't written in a long time. I've been feeling useless. My writing has gotten more and more sparse. I've finally been accepted to write on another blog, but my mind has gone blank. Writer's block, I suppose. Or maybe I think that there's no one interested in what I would say. Heck, I don't even know why I'm writing this.

My life has changed so much in the past 12 months. I have pain every day of my life. From the tests, so far, it looks like rheumatoid arthritis, but the rheumatoligist has yet to make a specific diagnosis. I take pain medication, but no DMARDs. I don't like to talk about it too much, but I guess people can tell something is going on. Besides the pain and stiffness, it makes my tire easily, have difficulty balancing when I walk and weakens my hands. I don't want people to treat me differently, I just want to find different ways to "make do".

I am still trying to find my place; what I can do (and want to do) within the time limits of my lower energy. I can't say if, or how, writing will fit into all this. I do miss the writing, but there are other things I also want to do.

Olympic Torch in Alabama 1996

I volunteered at this event in 1996. The Olympic Torch traveled to Jasmine Hill Gardens in Alabama. Jasmine Hill Gardens is an outdoor museum that contains/displays full-scale replicas of ruins and statuary of ancient Greece, including the Temple of Hera. This video, after a short tour of the grounds, records the ceremony of the Olympic Torch Lighting in Greece for the Centennial Olympics, part of the travels of the Olympic Torch and its arrival at Jasmine Hill Gardens in Alabama.

link:
http://www.jasminehill.org/video2.html

Who You Are

You are more than your ancestry and the culmination of all that has gone before you. Though that is a great thing. You are more than the execution of your DNA, inherited from your parents. You create yourself and demonstrate yourself through every new thought you execute, through every action you take, through every choice you make.

Personal musings, etc.

All week, at work, I think there are so many things I want to say-to blog about. But the weekend comes, and nothing. I just end up relaxing or running the kids around. It's like my brain is drained by the end of the week. I miss writing regularly on my blog.

Well, right now I am reading The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. I'm in the middle and it is starting to get interesting. I also started working on goals to accomplish by July 1st 2011. I got the idea here from Blade376. I only have about 12 things on my list, but I am pretty excited about it. I will share them on here, I don't have the list readily available at the moment.

On June 5th I had my gall bladder taken out. It was my first surgery, and it went fine. Just figured I'd mention it here. I am back up to 100% now.

I haven't posted in a while and I miss it. I guess I was trying to have a direction with my blog-which is good-but it limits the time I have to do research. I do have a full time job and 3 teenage sons.

We are planning to go to New York this Sunday. We will go to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. I want to show the kids where their great-great grandparents landed in America, on my father's side. We will try to get to Ground Zero, as well. I am looking forward to it.

Of course, there are at least 2 movies I would love to see this weekend: Where the Wild Things Are and Law Abiding Citizen.

Sugar Detox

Yes, I have gone off sugar. Well, for the most part I have. I still have some sugar (the occasional ice cream, etc.) But I no longer sup on it like mother's proverbial milk. And going off sugar was so much harder than I thought it would be.

First, some background: I started having severe joint pain in May of this year. I just this past Thursday got in to see the rheumatologist, but I digress. A friend of mine suggested that lowering my sugar intake might lessen my pain. She said it worked for a friend of hers. So, I thought to myself: I'll just try it for a day or two to prove that it doesn't work. Then I can forget about this nonsense. I should tell you right now, I am a sugar-aholic (if there is such a thing!) I love candy, cookies, ice cream, sweet tea. There's not a sugary confection I don't love. And I regularly was buying candy of all different sorts to enjoy. My two favorite holidays are Halloween and Easter-because they involve candy! Even special candy not available at other times of the year!

Besides eating candy every day, I was putting 3 sugars in my morning coffee (I had worked myself down from 5 packets, so I was pretty proud of that) and drinking 12 to 24 ounces of sweetened iced tea per day. I would ocassionally treat myself to sweet tea from McDonald's.

So, getting back to what I was saying, I started avoiding sugar that first day. I was expecting no changes. I was so wrong. The first day-The First Day-of no added sugar I noticed a difference. My pain decreased by about 70 percent! I was so happy, and so sad. I loved not having the pain, but I didn't want to go without my beloved candies and sweetened drinks.

The second day of no added sugar was pure torture. I was angry. Every time I saw something with sugar in it I got mad. I wanted to buy candy so badly. I felt so out of control. It felt like the candy was sitting on the shelves at the store mocking me, broadcasting their desire to be in my belly-home sweet home. Yes, I felt like I was going crazy. For the next couple days this went on. I was shaky and angry and even angrier at myself that it effected me this way. One of those days I snuck in a big piece of cake. It tasted good, but it also tasted weird. The sugar tasted different. It tasted too sweet. A few hours later I paid the price with increased pain. That was enough to deter me from doing that again.

So, now I have been off sugar for over a month, and I feel better. I am still having joint pain, but not nearly as much as I was before I went off sugar. In the past two to three weeks I have also lost weight (about 6 pounds). That's amazing in itself because I have not been able to loose weight for the past 4 or 5 years, since I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. I never thought that all this trouble could come from sugar. I had heard people talk about it, of course, but I thought it was some new age-y, natural-eating propaganda. Plus, I didn't want to believe it. I thought I couldn't live without my sugar. I guess I was wrong.

Myths about Biofuel

The biofuel I am talking about is fuel for vehicles that is made mostly from kitchen grease (i.e. vegetable oil etc. There are a few myths surrounding this kind of fuel that I hear mentioned quite often.

1. Biofuel comes from a free resource.

False.
Kitchen grease from restaurants and other businesses is not free. Rendering plants pay many of the customers for this grease.

2. Biofuel comes from an over-abundant resource.

False.
Kitchen grease is picked up by the rendering plants and rendered to be used in products such as moisturizers, conditioners, and industrial lubricants.

3. Biofuel is a cheap alternative to gasoline and diesel.

False.
It cost money to process biofuel. It must at least be screened to remove impurities (i.e. foreign materials). Rendering plants make more money selling to companies that produce the products listed above.

4. Biofuel is available for the taking. Just pick up a grease barrel from your local restaurant.

False.
Taking this grease is stealing and is illegal. It is not the same as taking someone's trash. The restaurant is under contract with a rendering facility to remove their grease. There are also laws in many communities that regulate the way the grease is stored, removed and disposed of.

5. Biofuel is cheaper than gasoline.

False.
The transport, processing and storage of biofuel would make it about the same price as gasoline.

Poetry

I have decided to post some of my poetry on this blog. Some of the poems have been previously published in various places. I have always wanted to be able to share my poetry with as many people as possible, so this is a great way to do that. I hope you enjoy it.

Watchmen et al

I haven't had much to say lately. I have not been feeling well and haven't had the time to write anything interesting.

Bob and I went to see Watchmen, twice. First we saw it at midnight Thursday night. It was over at 5 minutes to 3 in the morning. Then we had to get up with the kids at 6:30 am. Two of the kids ended up staying home sick (which seems to happen every time we take off from work). We met up with two friends to see Watchmen at 10 am. I saw new things the second time we saw it. I don't think I am going to see a movie at midnight again, because it is a pain to get up early afterward.

Watchmen movie is awesome! But it is long. I don't know how well it will do at the box office long term, because mostly comic book fans and adventure fans are going to watch it.

There are only a few slight differences from the book, but nothing too major (for example: Laurie does not smoke in the movie). I am supposed to take my sons this weekend, but I don't know if I will take the thirteen-year-old. It is extremely violent, which is more shocking in the video format than in the comic. I can't wait to watch the Black Freighter. I missed having it in the movie.

"Having trouble paying your bills? We can help!"

I bet you've seen and heard those words a thousand times in cheesy, emotion-provoking advertisements. But don't be fooled. These companies charge large fees to "lower your debt", and you will probably just end up with more debt than you started with. They most often work with the creditors by paying them late and months later making offers to payoff at much lower amounts than owed (if they keep up with your account), all the while still charging you the same amount of money.

You are better off using strategies on your own to pay off your bills. Don't be afraid of your debt. Take the emotion out of the equation. Take charge of your finances.

1. Don't open any more lines of credit and stop using the credit cards/credit lines you currently have. Cash only (or bank debit card only).


2. Pay essential first: food, electric, mortgage/rent.


3. Get current on your bills. If you do not have enough money coming in, get a second job (this doesn't have to be permanent).


4. Write out a budget each month and follow that budget. When the money runs out. Stop spending.
   

You can get yourself out of the mess and back on your feet again. But don't let yourself be taken in by scams. It takes a lot of work, but you can do it.

Reference: Dave Ramsey

Photo by Jenn_Jenn. Some rights reserved.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am thankful for freedom, health, family, life, friends, food, joy, movies, my job, nature, BSA, Dave Ramsey, the Internet, art, photography, comedy, everyday joys.

picture created with Graffiti application

My Top 20 Favorite Songs

Last week, my husband and I were talking about what our top 10 songs are. I had so many that I wanted in my top 10 that I had to make a top 20. Here they are, just for s and g's.

1. Back in Black - AC/DC
2. Nobody's Listening - Linkin Park
3. Hotel California - Eagles
4. Tom Sawyer - Rush
5. Baba O'Riley - The Who
6. Kashmir - Led Zeppelin
7. Cowboy - Kid Rock
8. AM Radio - Everclear
9. Veteran of the Psychic Wars - Blue Oyster Cult
10. Orion - Metallica
11. Thunderstruck - AC/DC
12. Seven Bridges Road - Eagles
13. Unforgiven II - Metallica
14. One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer - George Thorogood and the Destroyers
15. Landslide - Stevie Nicks
16. Paint it Black - The Rolling Stones
17. Freebird - Lynyrd Skynyrd
18. I Stand Alone - Godsmack
19. Rooms on Fire - Stevie Nics
20. Rock 'n Me - Steve Miller Band

My top Albums (in no particular order):

• Full Moon Fever - Tom Petty
• Songs from an American Movie - Everclear
• Master of Puppets - Metallica
• Meteora - Linkin Park
• Hybrid Theory - Linkin Park
• Supernatural - Santana
• Devil without a Cause - Kid Rock
• Workshop of the Telescopes - Blue Oyster Cult
• Who Made Who - AC/DC
• Green - REM
• So - Peter Gabriel

My favorite bands, in case you couldn't tell (in no particular order):

• AC/DC
• Rush
• The Who
• The Rolling Stones
• Eagles
• The Steve Miller Band
• Led Zeppelin
• Tom Petty
• Everclear
• Metallica
• Linkin Park
• Kid Rock

Global Advanced Personality Test

My results:

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion 74% Stability 58% Orderliness 54% Accommodation 38% Interdependence 70% Intellectual 62% Mystical 43% Artistic 63% Religious 10% Hedonism 50% Materialism 36% Narcissism 50% Adventurousness 43% Work ethic 43% Humanitarian 70% Conflict seeking 56% Need to dominate 43% Romantic 23% Avoidant 30% Anti-authority 63% Wealth 30% Dependency 30% Change averse 56% Cautiousness 63% Individuality 36% Sexuality 70% Peter pan complex 36% Family drive 70% Physical Fitness % Histrionic 36% Paranoia 50% Vanity 36% Honor 70% Thriftiness 70%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality test by similarminds.com

Found my Camera!

Yeah! I found my camera this past weekend. It was in the couch. Not under a couch cushion. Not down the side of the couch. But somehow down the corner of the couch where the arm rest meets the back. I was thrilled, of course!

My oldest son, Bobby, and I made our first video blog. (And it may be our last!) We took about 20 minutes of video. I uploaded it to my computer. That took about 10 minutes. Then, I cut it into smaller chunks and exported those chunks into wmv format (the default for my camera is Quicktime). I used Windows Movie Maker to cut those pieces up even more, add text, etc. Then, it had to be converted to wmv format again (Windows Movie Maker saves it as a project). All told, we spent between 3 and 4 hours to produce a 4 minute video. That's a lot of work, when you are not getting paid for it! All of those format conversions took their toll on the video. There are black spots, text is out of sync, etc.

It was kind of fun, though. But I don't know if I will do it again. Straight video is easier. And, after all, I am not a video professional.

Here's the video, if you are interested.

Lost without my Camera

I lost my camera a few days ago, and I am going nuts! I take so many pictures, every week. It's my current artistic outlet. We went to Blobfest yesterday, and I didn't have my camera. I hadn't realized how much more fun I have when I am taking pictures. Blobfest was OK, but it would have been much better if I had my camera.

Been a Long Time

Wow, it's been a while since I blogged. I was so sick about a week and a half ago. I had an ear infection. I thought ear infections were for babies and toddlers! Wow, that ear infection took hold of me and didn't want to let go. Anyway, I'm baaaaaack. :)

Advertisements, Commercials, and Overspending...Oh, my!

I am so SICK of commercials and advertisements! Did I tell you how much I hate advertisements? It seems like I can't do anything or go anywhere without being told or shown what I should be buying! It is an assault on the senses! Even on the Internet-especially on the Internet! In the beginning, there was practically no advertising on the Web. Then, there were ways to block advertisements. Now, some advertisements are not possible to disable. We have a DVR and skip some of the advertisements that way, but then we see product placement in practically every frame of the television show we are watching! I sat at lunch last week and decided to read a magazine. I read an article that listed ways to save time. I checked out the websites they recommended. They were all start-up, commercial websites (read "pay"). The article was just an advertisement in disguise. I am so disgusted!

I guess that is why I love camping so much. I just want to go out into the woods, pitch my tent, and be surrounded only by life. It is so relaxing and rejuvenating! I can't wait.

I am trying to find ways to limit the amount of advertisements I have to encounter on a daily basis, but it is not easy. I try to listen to CD's or tapes in the car, instead of the radio. I am limiting the time I spend on the web. And I try to condense all of my shopping into one day a week. If anyone has other ideas to limit exposure to advertising, please share them.

Philadelphia Auto Show 2008

Two of my sons, my husband and I all went to the Philadelphia Auto Show yesterday. We had a great time. We got to sit in, touch, and look under the hood of dozens of cars and trucks (maybe hundreds, but we were only there for four hours!). Some cars, like the exotic sports cars pictured, were behind barriers.

I got to sit in some cool trucks. My husband sat in a Jaguar-his favorite. There was also a section with customized cars. They were cool to look at, but definitely not something I woulds spend money on. I'm more interested in the mechanics of the vehicle. My 16-year-old participated in a driving simulation for teens to see how well they drive. He has not taken any lessons yet, so I guess I should not be worried that he went through a red light and took out a light pole!

We also were able to compare the various hybrid vehicles that are being offered by the different manufacturers. My husband found the Toyota hybrid to be the most effecient at 40 miles per gallon. He is interested in getting a hybrid for his next vehicle. I am planning to get an all-wheel-drive vehicle next. I would love to get a big truck, but the gas mileage is way too low.

Check out my photos at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/afeeser/sets/72157603838770778/

Check out the Philadelphia Auto Show at: http://www.phillyautoshow.com/

Happy New Year!

Photo courtesy Timothy K. Hamilton, Creativity+ Photography

I love the new year, new beginnings, starting over. I always picture it as ending at the bottom of a long calendar at the end of December and jumping up to the top of a brand new calendar at the beginning of January. It is the time I plan my year. I don't necessarily make resolutions, but I do have goals. I usually pick books I want to read, plan outings, plan for any large occasions (graduations, etc.). I also take a look at the previous year. I take stock of what I have accomplished, which goals I did not reach and whether I want to continue to pursue them, where and how I spent my money, etc. I suppose a lot of people do those things.

Well, here's to a bright and happy new year!